Yesterday was a roller coaster, one big giant mood swing after another.  I woke up filled with sadness, I went to bed filled with joy and hope.

I’m self-employed.  I’ve busted my ass to build up my business.  I’ve accepted that cancer will take my tits and treatment will take my hair – small prices to pay when you consider it’s my life that hangs in the balance.  What I cannot and will not accept is the idea that cancer will take my business.  Aside from the financial aspects, it’s also what keeps me sane and gives me a sense of accomplishment.  Cancer can’t have that but how, how do I maintain this one-man operation when the one-man is down?  It’s been a huge source of stress for me as I learn of this disease and my options for treatment.  I’m certain that I will survive cancer, but will my business?

It will.

How can it not when I have the support of peers?  Like families do, my boudoir family and even a few non-boudoir distant ‘cousins’ have made it possible for me to keep my studio for the bulk of my time in chemo treatment.

I can say this here, this is MY blog.  IT’S FUCKING AMAZING.  Boggles my mind to the point where I am near speechless kind of amazing.

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FUCK.

— posted a day late.  deal with it.